I've been thinking a lot more about "communication" lately as it seems to be a relative term. Some people will take your comments as intended (and this is not just through written prose but in real life as well), without emotional attachment or judgment and be at peace with an alternative opinion.  But some people require your consideration, to avoid certain terms or words in order that they be less distracted and be able to hear your words.  I can understand that ... but there has to be a line at some point. And that line is when you find yourself = not being yourself.  When you can no longer "communicate" with an individual while maintaining the integrity of who you really are, then the time has come to move on from that relationship.  I have to admit, sometimes, that's a sad option. Other times, it a relief.  Either way, it's the adult decision to make and it must be made.  The alternative is oppressive (censorship) and fabricated (acting).

That spawns so many other thoughts:

Blame it all on Facebook and discontinue the use of social media as a source for communication? Then that begs the question, what's the fall back option?  Who reads blogs anyway? E-mail? If I had the time to write personal notes, I'd dedicate that time to updating the baby books I'm so far behind on :).

But what about when you are in person?  Become that quiet, contemplative sort that never really says anything or shares any thoughts?  Bound by the fear that you might say something "wrong" and irrevocably offend someone, anyone. Is that being yourself, really, and how can you grow midst that sort of censorship? No one really gets to know you and you are less likely to find like-minded individuals that you might begin to spawn a deeper friendship with.

The problem with people getting their feelings hurt and trying to impose their comfort levels on you (assuming you aren't INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt them) is it becomes a "he said, she said" issue.  Who is really right? Who's comfort level trumps the other's?  Both cannot be happy so who gets the candy? What about this, if indeed (Prov. 17:17) "A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity." and (1 Corinthians 13): "⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, ⁵ does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.", then it would seem that through love, a friend shouldn't ever become offended.  (Proverbs 17:8-10) "⁹ Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends."

I find the heart is the main source of relationship resolutions. It really boils down to intent.  If I have no intent to hurt anyone by what comes from my mouth, and I have tested the spirit and taken reasonable assessment of what I am about to say ... then any offense taken at that point is the responsibility of the offended, not the offender. And, at the risk of sounding harsh, their intentions need to be evaluated for righteousness.

Another question: why friends anyway?  Do we need them? Seems like, on the whole, they are more trouble than they are worth.

While I won't say we "need" them, I will say they are intended for us to be a blessing. And it is through those relationship challenges with them that we learn how to change the things about us that need changing, accepting others precisely for who they are without expecting change, and to practice knowing when paths have divided and it is just time to move on. Oh, and to not be resentful when they do overstep the boundaries of love through accusations or emotional outbursts.

All that being said, should I re-purpose my social media forums?  Or do I continue forth, ignoring fear of reprisal, and do my best to express my heart in the most truthful manner and if that blesses others, then so be it.  I've been told my Facebook page is a ministry, I guess all my relationships are in one way or another of varying degrees.  For now, I press on.  For how long?  Only Yah knows.

I have been judged as being rude and inconsiderate. Since that is purely a perception and opinion understood per person, I cannot wholly deny that.

I will, however, say something I've been saying nearly all my life: I don't care about your feelings. Since I don't actively go out of my way to HURT anyone's feelings, I cannot concern myself with whether or not something I do or say will be perceived with the intent to hurt. And if you do not believe that I do not intend to hurt, I cannot change that either. So I do not spend excess energy trying to prove my heart to people that have decided to perceive me as evil. I only stand by their right to unfriend me, either on the web or real life.

 Those that are left can expect I am real, honest and do not mince words. No, we will not agree on everything and I respect your opposing position.  All I ask is for the same respect when I don't agree with you.