Logic Exercise

Logic exercise; someone is offended by something you have said.  Note: you did not intentionally say anything in order to attack them or in any way hurt them.  You were expressing your opinion on a topic.

Since they became offended, you study what that means to determine your next course of action:

Offense: resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.

Hmmm, you obviously insulted them.  Note the "perceived" issue.  So regardless of your intent, they perceived it as a personal attack against them in some way.

Insult: speak to or treat with disrespect or scornful abuse.

Which led to them feeling disrespected. To have accomplished this, you would have had to intend to disrespect.  Another intentional act.

Disrespect: lack of respect or courtesy.

Somehow, you were unable to discern that they might feel your comments were personal and as a result you were speaking purely in a manner that you should have known would upset them.  So you must be a mind reader.

Courtesy: a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression.

Sigh.  How do you apply courtesy, then?

Considerate: showing kindly awareness or regard for another's feelings, circumstances, etc

Ahh, there is it.  Awareness.  So you have to either have the ability to read their mind and/or heart to understand how they would perceive your comments or apply some basic cultural guidance or a historically deep friendship.  That would be the only way to have avoided this entire confrontation. 

That being noted, reviewing the conversation you stand on the fact that you did not intentionally say anything with an unkind heart.  Can you still be held accountable as being inconsiderate when the perception of insult is entirely on the side of the offended party?  Perhaps there is guidance in scripture ...

What the Bible says about offense:

Proverbs 19:11 

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 

Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.

Leviticus 19:18 

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ...

Galatians 6:1-3 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Matthew 7:1-5 

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Proverbs 27:5-6 

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

1 Peter 2:23 

When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

James 1:19 

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

So the emphasis does not appear to be on the offender but the offended.  Does it makes sense then that you are not at fault for causing unintentional offense?  And that if a brother or sister IS indeed offended, that that is an issue they must deal with through forgiveness and unconditional love?

But let's continue ...

What does scripture say about insult?

Nothing.  The word is not translated in the whole of the Bible.

Disrespect?

Nope.

Courtesy:

Ephesians 4:29 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:32 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Matthew 7:12 ESV /

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

What, then, is the conclusion?

First understanding would be that if the one making the offending statement had not intended to cause harm, they are, essentially without fault.  The one taking offense should look within themselves for the cause of that perceived offense and use it as an opportunity to forgive and express love in its purest form.  Finally, there IS an answer in scripture for modern, everyday events and it is a wonderful mediator for just these types of conflicts.

2 Timothy 3:16 

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

Acts 5:29 

But Peter and the apostles answered, We must obey God rather than men.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

When a miscarriage --- isn't.

I've had friends and family experience the sad, heart-wrenching event of loss of a young baby through miscarriage.  It's so common anymore, it's hard to find a woman that HASN'T had a miscarriage.  My personal opinion on that is the lack of true nutrition via our American diet and the disruption of proper hormones through an adulterated meat and food supply. 

The definition of a miscarriage is: "the expulsion of a fetus from the womb before it is able to survive independently, especially spontaneously or as the result of accident."   I, as a woman with particular attachment to babies and an anxiety disorder courtesy of the US Air Force and some arrogant OBs, have never thought to be strong enough to handle a miscarriage.  I have prayed, selfishly, never to belong to that club.  And yet ... with so many women experiencing it, I wondered how to comfort them without such understanding.  Could it be possible to understand without experiencing it?

I recently graduated with my Alternative Medicine degree with an emphasis in Herbalism.  I am officially considered a Master Herbalist though I hesitate to use that term.  Sure, I know more than the average Jane, but the more I learn, the less I feel I know.  So I keep reading and researching and looking for my next study program to help me along that path.  As such,  I have already run into plenty of herbal and homeopathic solutions to assist with preventing miscarriages.  I have even tried to assist a dear friend in preventing her last miscarriage - to no avail.

This is the account of my unusual experience with a anembryonic pregnancy, also known as a blighted ovum, and how I used herbs to assist with a second trimester "miscarriage".

Defintion: "An anembryonic pregnancy (sometimes termed a blighted ovum, although this term is falling out of favour) is a gestational sac which develops without an embryo. Some authors suggest the term blighted ovum should be avoided as histologically (the study of the microscopic anatomy of cells and tissues of plants and animals) fetal material can be demonstrated in most cases."

____________________________________________________________________________________

About mid-December 2014, I was a few days late and took a pregnancy test.  It came up negative.  But still my cycle did not occur.  The previous month I had just completed a cleanse and had an amazingly awesome cycle.  One of the heaviest I ever remember having.  I kept feeling like I was just flushing out years of toxins and it felt amazing.  I thought the late period might have something to do with hormones continue to balance out, especially since I was taking female supportive hormonal herbs to assist my residual hormone imbalance that I'd been dealing with for 10+ years.

About a week later, I took another test and it came up positive.  We had had a rough year in 2014 regarding stillborn and miscarried babies and my husband and I had tentatively mentioned we hoped we wouldn't get pregnant during that year so we could completely leave such a challenging year behind.  I decided to do something I had not yet done and withhold the news from my husband until New Year's Eve.  Thinking perhaps that would help things start off in a better light.  I prayed for the health and safety of the baby and proceeded to make plans to increase my daily nutritional intake, adding a superfood supplement in lieu of prenatal vitamins as well as green smoothies and juicing daily.  I felt great and didn't gain any weight right away.

The New Year's announcement went off without a hitch and he announced it at the party of friends that we were celebrating with.  I contacted the VA to get my pregnancy test done so could get referred to the OB/GYN midwifery clinic.

At this point, a lot of stuff happened regarding a previous pregnancy insurance issues that prevented me being seen by the midwives.  I opted for an OB, though I pretty much can't stand them and their lack of bed-side manner or respect for mother's intuitions.  But since I hadn't planned on delivering in the hospital anyway, I was willing to do blood-work and possibly selective tests to have an inside view about my health.  We do everything extremely natural, even down to unassisted childbirth.  The only reason I even do prenatal care is to make filing the birth certificate easier.  I opt for midwives because they typically don't push for all the ultrasounds, genetic testing and extra crap we don't want.  Understand, if there is an indicator of something, we are open to further investigation ... you might understand that better as you read on.

As the weeks passed, I had a nagging feeling that something wasn't right ... but that there was no danger.  I had one appt scheduled but it got rescheduled then I had to reschedule that one because we got snowed in.  I finally had my first prenatal appt that would occur around my 18 week mark.  In the meantime, everything appeared healthy.  I really never have any pregnancy symptoms like  morning sickness, breast tenderness (once for a few days with my fourth), spotting, swelling ... nothing.  I actually feel BETTER when pregnant as my hormones balance out and the relaxin hormone relieves an SI joint dysfunction that affects my being able to walk comfortably at times.  The main issue I had was a feeling I wasn't really pregnant.

Because of losing a niece in October who was a full-term stillborn then my dear friend losing a baby at 12 weeks only two weeks later, I was emotionally drained on the issue.  I worried I was disconnected from this sixth pregnancy due to those issues.  I prayed against the baby feeling any rejection and worked through prayer on the issue.  But still, I didn't grow bigger, gain any significant weight and never felt any kicking - something I usually feel by 12-14 weeks (I'm sensitive to my babies).

Monday, March 9th, 2015, my 16th week began.  The day started on a positive note, with my husband and I coming together that morning in love and intimacy.  Before he left around noon for school, I did note some bloody discharge and informed him since that was highly unusual for me.  As the day wore on, there was more light spotting and I began searching the internet for information.  I came to the conclusion that the cervix had sustained light "damage" and a blood vessel had ruptured.  Still, I began taking Lobelia as a precaution (Lobelia has a wonderful history of preventing a miscarriage if the baby is still healthy or assisting a clean miscarriage is the pregnancy is not viable).  I had no other symptoms of miscarriage so I prayed and felt at peace about it.  However, still not sure, I called my husband later in the afternoon to report more blood and he decided to come home.

He stayed home the next day as well as a precaution since this was new to us.  I did further research and my only concern fell on the fact that I was in my second trimester ... though I still felt at peace.  On that day, I felt my spirit submit to the will of the Father in heaven that whatever happened would be according to His Will and I again felt comforted and at peace.

Tuesday night I passed a few 1-2" clots but felt only curiosity about it.  I showed the first to Benjamin.  It was clearly only a clot, not a fetus or any other tissue.

Wednesday I passed light brown blood earlier in the day then stopped bleeding altogether.  I still took the Lobelia as it's recommended for three weeks following a threatened miscarriage and won't hurt a healthy baby.  I even took it as an enema since that's one way to get larger amounts into the system and I didn't feel like drinking the full amount that night.  I believe this is what triggered the "miscarriage".

Thursday morning, I got up around 5am with cramping.  Because I had taken a herbal bowel cleanse the night before to help my waste elimination (completely safe for pregnancy), I attributed the cramping to the colon.  This is still likely partly true.  By 6:30am, I was eliminating for the third time and heard a small "pop" like the sound of a water balloon breaking and what appeared to be my water breaking.  "Well, that's sad" I thought and said a prayer of thanks for a sure answer to what was happening and one for strength and protection during what was going to obviously occur.

We prepared to go to the ER to get a better idea of what was going on and what to expect.  We spent all day having ultrasounds and blood tests then getting a prescription for pain and nausea.  Miscarriage with a possibility of a molar pregnancy was announced - as well as confirmation (much to the doctor's consternation) that there was no fetus.  Anywhere.  No parts, not remains, nothing.  16 weeks?  But I had never FELT pregnant! And suddenly it made sense to me.  I felt more like I was having a period and I was able to approach everything from a discovery perspective and just proceed.  I expected to have continue clots along with cramping but everything was very easy going at that point.

That night the cramps ramped up and I took one of the pain pills in order to sleep.  I also repeated the Lobelia enema to help knock out the pain and assist with the miscarriage. Around 3am, I took another pain pill because it woke me up.  About an hour and half later, I went to find the hubby to discover him crying, writing me a heartfelt letter about how he would be strong for me but the miscarriage was hurting him.  I comforted him, assured him we hadn't actually lost a baby, but that I understood and appreciated his sensitivity.  I opted for a hot shower as the pain pills were doing nothing and he came to keep me company.  While in the shower, the contractions were one on top of the other and I mentioned they were more painful than anything I'd experienced in childbirth.  I passed a few more clots as we chatted.  I prayed for my reproductive system to do according to the Father's creation and flush out without anger or fear.  Shortly after that prayer, I literally "shot" a huge clump of tissue across the tub.  Immediately, the contractions stopped and I grabbed the item, clearly identifying it as a placenta.  "Well check that out! I'm bringing that in to my dr's appt this am!" I declared and placed it in a plastic bag.

The follow up appt that day had been scheduled (without my understanding or permission) as a D&C (a procedure that scraps remaining tissue from the uterus and can damage your reproductive possibilities).  Thankfully, our OB was still doing her clinicals and  was not an "all-knowing" OB with all the arrogant explanations and bossy tendencies I have thus far experienced.   Between my further research the day before on molar pregnancy, she agreed that was not my case.  With further discussion of my history and the presentation of a complete placenta with deflated sac, this verified my account and supported my refusal of invasive, unnecessary surgery.  I was also without fever (I had begun taking Vit C at 6000mg daily when miscarriage was imminent) and it was highly unlikely I would have any infection.  She requested only to have labs done (and the 6-week postnatal was optional but we want to hear the results of the placental testing) since I had carried for so long, which was highly unusual but not unheard of.  My hormone levels measured at a six week pregnancy level and they just wanted to make sure they kept dropping. 

The doctor was amazed and somewhat speechless that I had passed the tissue seemingly so easily and completely.  She said she couldn't explain that but also couldn't refute it.  My plan is ask her at the 6 week if she wants to know why things went so easily for me ... especially at my "advanced" age of 40.

The wonderful news in all this is that anembryonic pregnancies are typically a one-time deal and don't affect future pregnancies nor increase the likelihood of future miscarriages.  My take?  I had a miscarriage physically with all the components but without the emotional trauma.  How wonderful is our Father in heaven that He could give me understanding at least on one level in the gentlest, most safe way possible!  There is no residual effect to this event (one day later and I'm barely even bleeding with no more clots) and I have a testimony I can take forward on how to help women have natural miscarriages, if they chose to go that route.

I still feel deeply for women who have actually lost babies before their time.  I trust those events occur specifically to each women/family for various reasons.  I have come to terms with the fact that while I grieve for my friends and family, those events are not mine and I cannot do anything to affect them one way or the other.  I still struggle to have words and most often can only cry and grieve with them.  But I now also have a more firm faith that Yehovah has designed our bodies to function in the best possible way and that miscarriages can be a blessing on some levels.  Interestingly, my husband doesn't typically dream about our unborn children but a few days before this event, he had a disturbing dream that this baby was born looking like Humpty-Dumpty, with stunted limbs and took only one breath after birth.  He did tell me he'd dreamed of the baby and that it was disturbing but he didn't share the dream until after all this occurred.

I'm sure more will unfold and time moves on regarding this.  And we will wait upon Yah for His will to be done in our lives.  And I will give thanks daily, for all things - good and "bad".

Confidence

The older I get, the more things become clearer in a way my younger self wouldn't have been ready for.  Even through the clarity, some of the same challenges rear their ugly heads and the emotional aspect is similar.  I would have hoped hurt, anger, distrust and any number of "wrong" feelings would have waned ... but maybe that is something that will come with more time.  For now, just being able to see a situation in all it's aspects helps with the reactions.  Being truly able to put myself in others' position makes empathy possible.  Now, that doesn't necessarily excuse the lack of confidence that leads to incorrect assumptions or any number of other false interpretations of me and my thoughts ... but I am mature enough to check myself and respond the best way I know how.

I am becoming increasingly intolerant of what I term "emotional entitlement".  Used to be, it was stupidity and lack of common sense that would set me off.  Now, it's the general acceptable idea that other people are responsible for my emotional comfort.  No.  I own my emotions, and while I will react to the world around me, I WILL NOT blame or empower anyone to affect my emotions.  That's the part I can't understand about everyone wanting to make sure that everyone else is so politically correct or considerate of all biases that they are, essentially, handing over the power to others to create their emotional world.  Why, WHY, would anyone want to lose the power over themselves like that?  They think they are empowered by controlling others' actions, but by making such overtures, it is clear to me how easily they allow themselves to be manipulated.

So here I clarify: if you cannot accept ownership of your own emotions in ANY situation or event, you are giving power over yourself to that person or event. Period.

Sometimes it's the simple truths that carry the most power.

I've been thinking a lot more about "communication" lately as it seems to be a relative term. Some people will take your comments as intended (and this is not just through written prose but in real life as well), without emotional attachment or judgment and be at peace with an alternative opinion.  But some people require your consideration, to avoid certain terms or words in order that they be less distracted and be able to hear your words.  I can understand that ... but there has to be a line at some point. And that line is when you find yourself = not being yourself.  When you can no longer "communicate" with an individual while maintaining the integrity of who you really are, then the time has come to move on from that relationship.  I have to admit, sometimes, that's a sad option. Other times, it a relief.  Either way, it's the adult decision to make and it must be made.  The alternative is oppressive (censorship) and fabricated (acting).

That spawns so many other thoughts:

Blame it all on Facebook and discontinue the use of social media as a source for communication? Then that begs the question, what's the fall back option?  Who reads blogs anyway? E-mail? If I had the time to write personal notes, I'd dedicate that time to updating the baby books I'm so far behind on :).

But what about when you are in person?  Become that quiet, contemplative sort that never really says anything or shares any thoughts?  Bound by the fear that you might say something "wrong" and irrevocably offend someone, anyone. Is that being yourself, really, and how can you grow midst that sort of censorship? No one really gets to know you and you are less likely to find like-minded individuals that you might begin to spawn a deeper friendship with.

The problem with people getting their feelings hurt and trying to impose their comfort levels on you (assuming you aren't INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt them) is it becomes a "he said, she said" issue.  Who is really right? Who's comfort level trumps the other's?  Both cannot be happy so who gets the candy? What about this, if indeed (Prov. 17:17) "A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity." and (1 Corinthians 13): "⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, ⁵ does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.", then it would seem that through love, a friend shouldn't ever become offended.  (Proverbs 17:8-10) "⁹ Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends."

I find the heart is the main source of relationship resolutions. It really boils down to intent.  If I have no intent to hurt anyone by what comes from my mouth, and I have tested the spirit and taken reasonable assessment of what I am about to say ... then any offense taken at that point is the responsibility of the offended, not the offender. And, at the risk of sounding harsh, their intentions need to be evaluated for righteousness.

Another question: why friends anyway?  Do we need them? Seems like, on the whole, they are more trouble than they are worth.

While I won't say we "need" them, I will say they are intended for us to be a blessing. And it is through those relationship challenges with them that we learn how to change the things about us that need changing, accepting others precisely for who they are without expecting change, and to practice knowing when paths have divided and it is just time to move on. Oh, and to not be resentful when they do overstep the boundaries of love through accusations or emotional outbursts.

All that being said, should I re-purpose my social media forums?  Or do I continue forth, ignoring fear of reprisal, and do my best to express my heart in the most truthful manner and if that blesses others, then so be it.  I've been told my Facebook page is a ministry, I guess all my relationships are in one way or another of varying degrees.  For now, I press on.  For how long?  Only Yah knows.

I have been judged as being rude and inconsiderate. Since that is purely a perception and opinion understood per person, I cannot wholly deny that.

I will, however, say something I've been saying nearly all my life: I don't care about your feelings. Since I don't actively go out of my way to HURT anyone's feelings, I cannot concern myself with whether or not something I do or say will be perceived with the intent to hurt. And if you do not believe that I do not intend to hurt, I cannot change that either. So I do not spend excess energy trying to prove my heart to people that have decided to perceive me as evil. I only stand by their right to unfriend me, either on the web or real life.

 Those that are left can expect I am real, honest and do not mince words. No, we will not agree on everything and I respect your opposing position.  All I ask is for the same respect when I don't agree with you.

The drama unfolds

Every challenge in life can be met with either emotional drama responses ... or the choice to grow and learn.  I typically employ the first to get it out of my system so the second can be more fruitful.

I have a long history of repeatedly being exposed to events that result in my being accused wrongfully of some evil doing.  Since I was about 4 or 5, this has repeatedly been occurring in my life.

Now, YHVH and I have had long conversations about why this keeps happening. His simple answer is, "Because it will until you get over it."  Ahhh, so it's my Achilles heal, then?  Pretty much.  But it's something that can be healed and grown beyond.

I am faced with it again and a friendship hangs in the balance.  Now, the main issue in this case is I have proclaimed my innocence and have been disbelieved.  That simply equates to: I'm a liar. Now, I have for many years understood I have absolutely NO power to change a person's mind and I support their right to think whatever they want about me so I don't waste too much effort or energy on trying to prove my innocence. The interesting additional aspect of this is that I ACTUALLY HAVE AN ALIBI!!!  But no, it doesn't make sense to the other party that I couldn't have done it, it makes more sense to assume the worst of me.

Fine.  You will believe what you believe.  Disregard years of history to the contrary, disregard years of conversations discussing my belief system and how I regard liars, disregard any evidence in bulk that directly contradicts your current belief that this situation is the golden egg.  Oh, and make sure you go back through history and assign other instances in which this similar thing COULD have happened and rewrite that to back up your evidence. 

I think that often times people fail to put things in perspective and I KNOW people don't see the real issue 93.97% of the time.  So what is the real issue here?  What can I learn from this?

Well, the issue is where to go from here, really.  Because the friendship is damaged and must either be repaired or buried.

So is the issue the event that started this ball rolling? No, that was inconsequential to say the least.  The issue is: I can't continue a friendship in where my word means nothing.  I don't lie, but if you believe I do, we cannot be friends.  Simple.  I will not continue a relationship wondering when the next event will occur that you will judge me at fault and I will be found guilty without justification.

Interestingly, I can let go of a friendship and let anyone believe I'm a liar.  I still despise being falsely accused and Scripture backs me up on that (even the 10 big ones address false witness).  But I can once again take this event, deal with it in adult manner and let things unfold as YHVH wills.  My challenge is to be at peace no matter what becomes of this - even to the point of forgiving and moving forward in the friendship ... which has the potential to make it stronger if indeed it is not destroyed beyond repair. 

As for me, I forgive so the Father in heaven can continue to forgive me.  And I know in the end, the truth will be made known no matter what anyone else assumes of me.  And that is where my peace lies.

Facebook s*(%s!

Anyone posting to Facebook with their own thoughts that has more than 20 friends has likely come up against this: you share a thought, perhaps something you find to be an epiphany pertinent to your own personal growth and BAM! someone thinks you are personally attacking them and spends time "putting you in your place".

If you are like me, your first reaction is simply: confusion.  What? Did I do something? Say something?  I mean, other than what I posted that is ... You reread your post and it means the same thing to you that it did when you posted it.  You try to take yourself out of the equation and find something nefarious about it.  As a last resort, you have others read it (for me, it's my hubby :) ).

Okay, so somewhere in between the lines you MIGHT be able to assign the intent of harm in a gossipy manner - because of timing and content being similar to a conversation you were around or could have overheard. But who wants to step on eggshells, on their OWN page, when all they are trying to do is communicate a thought?  An imperfect thought, sure, but seriously?  Should every post be preceded by the disclaimer, "All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."?  So much for my right to free speech.

And worse, trying to figure the whole thing out and now a friendship hangs in the balance.  Over a Facebook post about something REALLY inconsequential.  Like, "I like green eggs and ham."  You are hammered with your lack of culinary expertise on said cuisine, or maybe it's just not enough in their eyes - whatever, you were obviously unqualified to make said statement.  On your own page. Never mind it's a personal opinion.  It has to be fact or you can't post it.  And make sure you cite three scientifically vetted studies to back you up.  Better yet, just quote them and keep your personal wording to yourself.

And that is why Facebook is over-run with Memes, quotes and videos now. No one has the balls to have their own thoughts about things anymore.  Why should they when adults checked their potential adulthood at the door in high school and never outgrew the petty spatting.  I swear, meet me with a good argument that is both well-thought out and presented without emotion, and I may still disagree with you ... but at least you'll have my respect.

And that's all any of us want really. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  :)

P.S. Why can't I turn off this stupid highlighting?!!?!?!?